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Glossary of Terms: Clintonspeak & Obamaspeak

9 October 2012 2 Comments


History is repeating itself. Following is a helpful glossary of terms when reading The Whistleblower: How the Clinton White House Stayed in Power to Reemerge in the Obama White House and on the World Stage and navigating through today’s politics.

Clintonese: Clintonspeak. See “Doublespeak.”

Doublespeak: Clintonese and Obamaspeak; what politicians say as opposed to what they do.

POTUS: The former President of the United States William Jefferson Clinton a.k.a. Leader of the Free World, Handsome, Big Creep, Bill Clinton, and President of the World.

FLOTUS: The former First Lady of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, co-president, a.k.a. Hillary!, Champion of women and children.

Facilitators: Those in Washington and Arkansas who helped Bill Clinton “cause pain in his marriage,” including Bill’s personal secretary and presidential aides.

Protectors: People in Washington and Arkansas who will do anything to cover up Bill Clinton’s foibles and report to Hillary. 2. Those who tried to protect Bill from himself, i.e., White House aides and dirt-digging private investigators a.k.a. Hillary’s Secret Police.

Meanies: People whose sole purpose in life was to bar Monica Lewinsky from the Oval Office and destroy her emotional relationship with POTUS. 2. People who preferred POTUS govern in the Oval Office, not engage in sex. See “Sex.”

Sex: Intercourse with Hillary. Absolutely anything else with anyone else that brings Bill to orgasm doesn’t count. See “ministering.”

Ministering: Oral sex. See “Oral sex.”

Oral Sex: Not sex. Ministering to a subordinate intern; quality time in the Oval Office.

Hope and Change. The most ethical administration in history; a promise to build a better world and usher in the change America needs. See “Ethical.”

Ethical: Whoever pays wins. Scandals and investigations. See “Fundraising.”

Fundraising: Cashing checks from anyone including the PLO, China, and those who’ve taken an oath of poverty.

Universal Health Care: HillaryCare. Giving Hillary control over your healthcare. Redistribution of wealth. See “FLOTUS.”

Governing: Polling.

Talking Points: 1. Move on, we’re above the fray, nothing here. 2. These petty partisan and/or political enemies are mudslinging to derail our agenda, or destroy the Clintons, and the American people know better. 3. We’re doing important work for our country.

Cohesive strategy: What Americans (and law enforcement investigators) are told regardless of pesky facts. See “OIC investigators.”

Office of Independent (OIC) investigators: Law enforcement on wild fishing expeditions to destroy the Clintons made up of sex-crazed right-wingers and Republicans.

Testifying Under Oath: I don’t know, I can’t remember or executive privilege.

Is: Truthful and accurate testimony, depending on what is truthful and accurate testimony.

Transparency: Linda Tripp’s sealed civil settlement documentation with the Department of Defense and Maryland Grand Jury testimony in wiretapping criminal case. Withholding documents under subpoena in Whitewater, Travelgate, Foster death, Clinton-Lewinsky, Clintongates, impeachment, and 9/11 Commission. See “Whitewater, Travelgate, Foster death, Clinton-Lewinsky, Clintongates, Impeachment, 9/11 Commission.”

Whitewater, Travelgate, Foster death, Clinton-Lewinsky, Clintongates, Impeachment, and 9/11 Commission: Nothing here, move on. We’re doing important work for the country. See “Impeachment” and “Talking points.”

Impeachment: A glitch, a sound bite used by Clinton political enemies.

Committing Crimes: If only you and I know, then nothing happened. Who can prove it?

Nuts, Sluts & Desperate Attempt to sell books: Clinton default defense-position

Tripp Treatment: International personal attacks. Threat of jail.

Political Enemy: Anyone who isn’t completely loyal to the Clintons. See “Vast Right-wing Conspiracy.”

Vast Right-wing Conspiracy: Dangerous Americans obsessed with destroying the Clintons. Everyone who opposes the Clintons’ policies.

Loyal Friends: Useful idiots. Disposable, think Bernie Nussbaum, Webster Hubbell, Vince Foster and Sandy Berger. People with lots of money.

Law Enforcement: Political enemy.

Office of Independent Counsel: Political enemy

Saul Alinsky: Hillary and Obama mentor who dedicated his book Rules to Radicals to Lucifer. Nothing here, move on.



Obamaspeak

Obamaspeak: Clintonspeak and doublespeak; what politicians say as opposed to what they do.

POTUS: President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama, Barry Soetoro, Barack Obama, first African American transformational President of the United States.

FLOTUS: First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama, champion of children, especially kids who are obese. See “Bill and Hillary Clinton.”

Bill Clinton: Former President of the United States, childhood obesity fighter, President of the World, head of the Clinton Global Initiative to save the world and chief Obama campaigner and fundraiser.

Hillary Clinton: Former First Lady of the United States and women’s and children’s advocate unless you live in Middle East and are enjoying the “Arab Spring.” Global peacemaker and Obama Secretary of State who did not, I repeat, did not dodge sniper fire while in Bosnia.

Domestic Terrorists: Dangerous Americans. Previously referred to as the vast right-wing conspiracy. No one with the name Bill Ayers or Bernadine Dorhn or anyone involved with the Weatherman, FLAN or other terrorist groups pardoned by Bill Clinton. See “Racists.”

Racists: Anyone who opposes President Obama’s policies including Hillary’s vast right-wing conspiracy, Tea Party patriots, conservatives, vets, Christians and capitalists. See “Domestic Terrorists.”

Hope and Change: What the Clintons promised in the 1990s. See “Ethical.”

Ethical: Whoever pays wins. Scandals and investigations. See “Fundraising.”

Fundraising: Cashing checks from anyone, including people living in the Gaza strip.

Universal Health Care: ObamaCare. Obama taking control over your healthcare. Redistribution of wealth. Formerly HillaryCare.

Governing: Backdoor deals. Ramming legislation into law that no one has read, against the will of the people. Executive orders and Czars.

Transparency: Legislation that must be mandated into law before you can read it. Turned off CSPAN cameras; withholding documents under subpoena in Fast and Furious, Solyndra, back-door amnesty, and all Obamagates. Obama’s school records. See “Fast and Furious, Solyndra, and Back-door Amnesty, BenghaziGate and all Obamagates.”

Fast and Furious, Solyndra, Back-door Amnesty, BenghaziGate and Obamagates: Nothing here, move on. We’re doing important work transforming the country.

House Government Reform Committee Investigators: Law enforcement and public officials made up of right-wingers and Republicans on wild fishing expeditions to destroy President Obama.

Testifying Under Oath: I don’t know, I can’t remember, I misunderstood the question or executive privilege.

Political Enemy: Anyone who isn’t completely loyal to Obama. See “Racists,” “Domestic Terrorists” and “Tea Party.”

Tea Party: Formerly the vast right-wing conspiracy. Dangerous Americans obsessed with destroying President Obama. Everyone who opposes Obama’s policies; racists, domestic terrorists, and hobbits, who should “go to hell.” See “Racists” and “Domestic Terrorists.”

Vet Treatment: See Nuts & Sluts and Tripp treatment

Loyal friends: Useful idiots. Disposable, think Tony Rezko, Reverend Jeremiah Wright and Obama’s grandmother. People with lots of money.

Saul Alinsky: Obama and Hillary mentor who dedicated his book Rules to Radicals to Lucifer. Nothing here, move on.

Feel free to add your own.

2 Responses to “Glossary of Terms: Clintonspeak & Obamaspeak”

  1. [...] This is politics. Of course Hillary has to take the blame for the lack of security for US diplomats in Libya but it’s wishful thinking and fanciful if you believe Hillary will resign over Benghazi-gate. Did she resign after the largest breach to national security–Wikileaks? No. Listen to what was reported and learn Clintonspeak: [...]

  2. Bruce Price says:

    Seriously, for several years i’ve been pondering the question of who is the best liar. I think a good case can be made for both Clinton and Obama. They are both supernaturally gifted.

    My suggestion now is that you could encourage people to argue back and forth. Who told the most lies? Who told the best lies. Who told the most lies that hurt the country? How do they reveal they are lying? This would be educational, and make people more sensitive to one of the things that Dems tend to be good at.